By Kyle Anderson
Updated October 12, 2011 at 03:30 PM EDT

As an actor, Tom Hanks has given the world unforgettable performances in such modern classics as Forrest Gump, Philadelphia, Cast Away, and Saving Private Ryan.

As a producer of other human beings, he has given us both Colin Hanks (currently playing a creepy killer on the new season of Dexter) and Chester Hanks, a Northwestern student who moonlights as a rapper/crooner known as Chet Haze, and who just released his first official music video.

On “Hollywood,” Haze croon-raps his offer to be both a woman’s manager and director in a private film that involves “no extras,” which probably means it’s a tribute to My Dinner With Andre or something minimalist like that. Right?

As for the song itself, Haze’s vocals seem to be distorted and slowed down to extra-syrupy levels, as though the mixing board was having transmission problems.

Check out Haze’s “Hollywood” debut below.

On the Hanks Scale, “Hollywood” probably falls somewhere in between Turner & Hooch and The Ladykillers. On the Chet Scale (which measures the strengths of dudes named Chet), Haze sits well below country guitarist Chet Atkins, jazz trumpet legend Chet Baker, and former Philadelphia 76ers and Chicago Bulls forward Chet “The Jet” Walker, but above Top Ten Forgettable President Chester Arthur and this guy.

Where do you stand on Chet Haze’s “Hollywood,” both as a song and a video? Want to hear more, or would you rather spend time watching Orange County? Let us know in the comments.


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