Phoenix Jones arrested
If you’re a superhero long enough, sooner or later the populace that prospers under your protection will turn against you. It’s happened to all the greats: Batman, Mr. Incredible, and now Phoenix Jones. The clearly jealous Seattle police have arrested the masked vigilante — who was so good at his job that no one even knew he existed until he got a publicist and a Facebook page — for assaulting two citizens with pepper spray on Sunday morning. Jones insists he was just doing his duty, breaking up a fight, but the police claimed that the two victims were just “dancing and having a good time.” (Were they doing the Batusi?) The cops have added insult to injury by unmasking their only rival in protecting Seattle from bad dancing, revealing that Phoenix Jones is really just mild-mannered husband and father of two, Benjamin Francis. Watch the news clip below.
Nice work, boys. Phoenix Jones is no more, thanks to you. Don’t come begging for him to bail you out next Saturday night, when the bad dancing is sure to become a plague upon your metropolis.