By Sandra Gonzalez
Updated October 01, 2011 at 12:00 PM EDT
Jack Rowand/The CW

This week’s episode of Supernatural was an emotional rollercoaster. Everything I thought would happen didn’t. And everything I thought to be true, I found myself doubting. And in an episode where I so craved the comfort of resolution, we ended on a cliffhanger. A freaking cliffhanger. Two episodes in and I’m emotionally spent. Here’s why: [I warn you to stop reading here if you haven’t seen the episode.]

We started off seeing Castiel (Misha Collins) disintegrate as the Leviathan became too much for him to contain, and then he walked into a lake, leaving behind nothing more than a dirty trenchcoat. I spent the next hour waiting for naked Castiel to magically reappear, per the Supernatural tradition that no “death” is ever final. Yes, the boys — especially Dean (Jensen Ackles) — mourned the loss of their friend briefly, but I didn’t take it seriously. I still don’t. But I guess his reappearance will take longer than I anticipated. (And if he’s really gone for good, I guess we’ll look back on this column as denial.)

The next 20 minutes focused on the introduction of the Leviathan, their search for the perfect vessels via the town’s water supply, and the brief return (random taxicab exit) of Sheriff Mills (WHO I DID NOT RECOGNIZE!). I’ll be honest, at first, I wasn’t sure why they spent so much time following the Leviathan (what was the point of the little girl vessel?). But when I saw that the ending was a cliffhanger and that much of the next episode appears to reference the ground that was laid in the first half of this episode, it all made a little more sense. Patience, self. Patience.

But while the Leviathan had me terrified last week, it was Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean who gave me chills this week. And not the usual good chills, the I’m-creeped-out ones. Sam’s ongoing struggle with separating what’s real and what’s fake is not only sad to watch, but it’s messing with my mind. Throughout the episode, I thought it was all pretty clear cut. My Supernatural buddy and I easily called it when Lucifer (Mark Pellegrino) was pretending to be Dean. But as the situation became more dire (Bobby’s house was fried extra crispy/Bobby was no where to be found), I began wondering if this was all, as Lucifer had been telling Sam, just a reality that has been created inside the cage. I know it seems absurd that I would hop aboard Sam’s crazy train, but that’s an indication of how completely twisted this season is. And I love it. (Luckily, at the end, Lucifer set me straight and admitted he wasn’t real, but warned he “wasn’t going anywhere.”)

Meanwhile, Dean was quietly feeling the weight of Castiel’s loss and consumed with worry about Sam’s condition. He admitted in a message on Bobby’s voicemail that he wasn’t “fine,” and that’s to be expected. The sad thing is, I don’t see any relief on the horizon and, for the first time in a long time, not an angel in sight.

I feel like the only thing we can hold on to is the bond between the brothers. (Then again, what’s new?) The warehouse scene from this episode — where Dean basically taught Sam how to get a grip back on reality — was wrenching. It’s why I’ve been watching this show as long as I have, and it’s why I continue to take this fun and completely cooky ride we’re on right now.

So where’s it headed? Well, to the hospital, apparently. In the final minutes, Dean and Sam went toe-to-toe with one of the ink-blooded bastards and he proved to be a force to be reckoned with. He threw Dean into a car windshield, breaking his leg, and knocked Sam unconscious…with no signs of waking. Now, they’re bound for the same hospital where the Leviathan and their scary-a– faces await, ready to do God knows what to the brothers. Oh, and to boot, the car-smashed Leviathan didn’t even die!

So, readers, tell me what you thought of this episode. The last half hour was incredibly intense. Are you coping better than I am? (Yes, I know I’m weak.) Are you loving the brother moments as much as I am? Are you waiting (im)patiently to see Cas again/do you share in my possible denial? Did that cliffhanger — and preview! — leave you with cold sweats? (I became especially anxiety ridden when I heard the desperation in Dean’s voice as he begged the EMT not to take them to Sioux Falls General.) And do you have any idea where the season is headed? If so, please share with the class.

While you mull that over, take a peek at some of the episode’s lighter moments:

“Well, he was friends with us, wasn’t he? You can’t get much dumber than that.” — Bobby, speakin’ the truth

Dean: That’s 12 hours straight. I’m calling that rested. Here, hydrate and, um, protein-ate.

Sam: Breakfast in bed.

Dean: Don’t get used to it.

“What? You want to do couples yoga or you want to get back to hunting the big bads?” — Dean to Bobby. [Request: Can we please see couples yoga?]

“Did you know a study showed that 3/4 of doctors cheat on their exams? He might not know your appendix from your vagina.” — old woman in hospital

“…Having a little bag-lady moment?” — Bobby

Sheriff: Bobby Singer, my hero.

Bobby: That’s the roofies talking.

“This is Bobby Singer, direct hotline. You should not have this number.” — Bobby’s voicemail…which I am going to steal and adapt

Follow Sandra on Twitter: @EWSandraG