By Aly Semigran
Updated September 27, 2011 at 09:30 PM EDT
Brian To/

Charlie Sheen made appearances in both 2003’s and 2006’s spoof fests Scary Movie 3 and Scary Movie 4, respectively. Of course, that was a simpler time, before Charlie Sheen had truly become the Charlie Sheen we know now. But now Dimension, the studio behind the wildly successful Scary Movie franchise, confirmed to EW that Sheen is, in fact, “discussing a role” for the upcoming Scary Movie 5. But which Sheen will we see? Or want to see, for that matter?

While studio is not sure “if it’s going to be possible” to nab Sheen, who they call “a friend of the franchise,” we still can’t help but imagine the possibilities for a fifth installment. After all, Sheen could have some options: We can’t guarantee that he’ll resurrect his role as Scary Movie 3 and 4‘s doomed Tom Logan. That character’s as dead as Charlie Harper. So is it out of the realm of possibility that Sheen might want to play a character who’s living and larger than life: Sheen himself?

Sheen playing himself would make sense in the world of Scary Movie. As is so often the case with quickly-churned-out parody flicks (Meet the Spartans, Date Movie, Vampires Suck), whatever is a pop culture trend at the time the movie is being written or filmed will likely wind up in the final product. In other words, don’t be surprised to hear references to “goddesses” and, of course, “winning.” In fact, be surprised if you don’t hear references to “goddesses” and “winning.”

Yet, I’d have to advise against Sheen taking advantage of his “winning” schtick on screen. Jokes referencing the actor’s post-Two and a Half Men media meltdown already felt dated on a recent episode of Jersey Shore, so imagine how old they’ll feel in a movie released in 2012. It reminds me of whenever those Now That’s What I Call Music albums were released: You loved hearing the tunes on the radio, but by the the record came out, you can’t help but think, “Yeesh! Enough already!”

Plus, it seems Sheen isn’t even sure which version of himself to portray in the public anymore. The 46-year-old had a chance to play self-aware at both the Emmys and his Comedy Central Roast, but it seems even he couldn’t decide whether or not to continue his current routine as the unflappable renegade or shift into the apologetic and seemingly sincere Sheen. So instead of delivering a stilted, disoriented performance (he even seems tired of all his own catchphrases now), why not ditch the warlock persona altogether? In the midst of all this Sheen madness, it’s been easy to forget that the guy is actually a gifted comedic actor (see: Major League, Hot Shots!).

So I advise Sheen to take Neil Patrick Harris’ advice. In the current issue of Entertainment Weekly, NPH talks about seizing the opportunity to play a very against-type version of himself in the cult 2004 comedy Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle. Not only did Harris become the highlight of the movie, but it single-handedly helped revive his career as a funny guy who didn’t take himself — or his television past — too seriously. It was the most winning combination of all. So, please, Mr. Sheen, for the first time in a long time, give us the opportunity to watch you act. Because if I see anything on screen resembling the “winning” man formerly known as Charlie Harper, I’ll feel like I’m losing just buying a ticket.

What do you think of the possibility of Charlie Sheen in Scary Movie 5, PopWatchers? Do you think he should play a self-aware version of himself? Or an extreme, polar opposite one of himself, à la Neil Patrick Harris in Harold & Kumar? Or will the Scary Movie writers depend on Sheen’s current state of mania for laughs?

(Reporting by Kate Ward)

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