Charlie is already dead. Ashton Kutcher’s Walden Schmidt has already bought his house. Heck, we’ve already met Ashton Kutcher’s Walden Schmidt’s nether regions — in fact, a grand total of 27.7 million viewers met his nether regions. Of course, huge ratings for Two and a Half Men‘s ninth season premiere were expected — following Charlie Sheen’s firing and subsequent media implosion, curiosity drove many to tune into CBS to see what would come of Charlie Harper and his youthful replacement. But now that we’ve gotten answers — and an opportunity to snap judge Kutcher in the role as hapless and hopelessly-in-love billionaire Walden — will TV viewers continue to tune in? When it comes to Two and a Half Men‘s headline-making ninth season, do we still care?
As expected, the second episode was far less buzzy than its predecessor. Following its water cooler premiere, it was back to basics for the CBS sitcom: Same sex jokes, same laugh track. (On second thought, those were in the premiere too.) But we still learned plenty about new guy Walden. Essentially, thanks to his mere presence, the show should be retitled Two Men. As his ex Bridget (Judy Greer) said during the episode, Walden “has the emotional maturity of a 12-year-old.” The billionaire may be able to buy a fancy car and a new beachside villa, but he can’t remember which shampoo or toilet paper he uses without his ex-wife. Walden is so immature, you might as well call him Kelso. (Who else saw shades of the That ’70s Show character when Walden told Bridget, “If loving you is wrong, then I am… wrong”?)
Of course, we can expect this emotional immaturity to lead to Walden getting a new roommate — Cryer’s Alan Harper, who, until he asked to be Walden’s roommate for “a month tops” (yeah, right), was stuck under his mom’s kinky umbrella. But, interestingly enough, Two and a Half Men doesn’t seem to be moving forward quite yet — there was still mention of Charlie’s death when a babe dropped by the house in search of him. She, naturally, moved on at the mere sight of Walden — something CBS is hoping us viewers do too.
So, PopWatchers: Have you moved past Charlie’s death? Are you sticking with the show past its ninth season premiere? And do you, like Berta, wonder what Walden’s sweat tastes like? Let us know in the comments below!
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