So many “real” housewives and older (26 and up) starlets are defying the very laws of nature in this brave new world we’re living in. A little lift here, a slight tuck there, and before you know it, you’re popping somas and looking like a creature from the murky inner depths of the Bravo network. It’s usually unattractive, and it’s an undeniably negative trend that is wreaking emotional havoc on the impressionable young women of my generation.
This is why I was delighted to learn that 17-year-old Ali Lohan has defied the defiers by opting to age gracefully. Of all things! A rep for this brave young woman, who was recently signed to a modeling agency, denied allegations that she went under the knife after a new photo sparked concern and media frenzy. “Aliana has never had any type of plastic surgery in her life, nor has she ever considered it,” Steve Honig told People. “Her success as a model lies with her natural looks and she has no interest in changing that. During the past two years, she has gone through a normal teenage growth spurt that has made her taller and slimmer.”
Hold the phone, Mr. Honig. Are you trying to tell us that not once in her 17 long years as a Lohan has she even considered working on those crow’s feet? What about the embarrassing smile lines, the ones that typically start to show around age 15? If what Honig says is true, then Ali Lohan is truly the Gloria Steinem of our time.
But seriously, all kidding and questionable parenting aside, this whole debacle is very unsettling. I’m team Lohan on this one, probably because my face was 80 percent baby fat until college, and everyone gave me a hard time when it naturally went away. Britney Spears emerging from her 19th summer with humongous breasts was one thing, but a slightly thinner face is something else entirely — something that is ultimately not a big deal. What world are we living in when a thinned out 17-year-old girl sparks plastic surgery headlines? Oh yeah, the one where moms dress their daughters up like iconic movie prostitutes in beauty pageants. Never mind, this all makes sense now.
What do you think of the after/before picture above, PopWatchers? Did Ali Lohan go under the knife? Are you depressed that I’m even asking you this?