September 02, 2011 at 12:00 PM EDT

”It’s like when they killed off Brandon Walsh from 90210, destroying any chance of a movie.”

—Drama (Kevin Dillon), referring to E’s (Kevin Connolly) ruining his chances of getting back together with Sloan (Emmanuelle Chriqui) after sleeping with her ex-stepmom, on Entourage

”Why did you have to pick a man with a fat gene? Thanks to you and your lack of due diligence, I’m going to die alone because you fell in love with a man with strong recessive chub.”

—Sadie (Molly Tarlov), lamenting to her mom about her weight, on Awkward.

”These zombies are multiplying faster than Kardashians.”

—Dashell (Bryan Callen) on Death Valley

”It’s definitely alcohol abuse because I could’ve drank that.”

—Snooki, after her boss dumps the wine she was chugging during her shift, on Jersey Shore

”Jeff: 1995 called, and they want their soul patch back! ZZZZZING!”

—Zingbot 3000 on Big Brother

You May Like