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August 25, 2011 at 11:45 PM EDT

As Big Brother taught us this season, nothing good comes in pairs. Like season 13’s ill-advised “Duos” twist. But here’s hoping tonight’s double eviction manages to be more exciting than Porsche reading a car owner’s manual. Who will get eliminated tonight? It’s a safe bet that Big Jeff will send Daniele packing out the door, but what will happen next? Here’s my prediction: Adam wins HOH, puts up Jeff and Jordan, Jordan wins the veto, Shelly is the replacement nominee, Shelly goes home, and the Chenbot turns into a real girl. Just kidding! None of those things will happen.

Either way, come here during tonight’s action-packed episode to talk about the hour, and be sure to come back later on to read my recap of the night’s proceedings. Or just ZING ZINGGG ZING ZING ZINGGGGGGG! (I’m terrible at insults.) UPDATE: Two players have been evicted! Find out who they are after the jump!Daniele, you never had a chance. Big Jeff — well, that elimination was a (say it with me) shocker! (UPDATE: Click for Kate Ward’s full Big Brother double elimination recap!)

Read more:

‘Big Brother’ recap: Zingbot at the Wedding

Julie Chen hosts as the houseguests battle it out.
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