Jim Carrey has boldly stepped up as a mouthpiece for much of the human race by declaring his love for Emma Stone in a weird little webcam confessional. (Watch the video here.) Carrey calls Stone “all the way beautiful” and laments that at 49, he has lines on his face and takes “a little longer to pee” than he used to, because otherwise they could get married “and we would have chubby little freckle-faced kids.” Who you callin’ fat, Jim Carrey?

The most awkward part is when he says, wistfully, “And the sex?” and then just trails off in fantasyland before continuing on a different train of thought that begins “Every day for the rest of your life…” UPDATE: Stone’s rep has not yet responded to a request for comment, but a rep for Carrey tells EW that the video “was intended to be comical.”

We here in the L.A. office of EW, meanwhile, are a little torn on whether this is creepy or cute, so we’ve decided it’s creepute. Do vote below.