E! will air Kim Kardashian wedding extravaganza for FOUR HOURS

Oh GOD. E! is already planning a two-night primetime gala, and they haven’t even promised that the telecast will include the actual wedding! Check out this save-the-date, which is quite proper and ladylike save for the big E, erect and ready for action:

On the bright side, it turns out we are all invited. The chances?!

Here’s a list just off the top of my head for what you can do to better spend four hours.

1. Anything

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• By Annie Barrett