'Cougar Town': Aloha means hello and goodbye. How dumb is that?
Aloha from “We will never stop mocking the title…Cougar Town!” Here’s the good news: ABC treated us with a special, hour-long episode of CT set in Hawaii! The bad news: It was the season finale. Our favorite cul-de-sac crew will not return until November. (I’ll pause for you to pound some grape in an effort to deal with the news….) In the meantime, we’ve got a lot to cover. Let’s dive right in.
Travis turned into some kind of ne’er-do-well as his young-life crisis continued. Despite the Jules-created rumor that his grandmother had syphilis, Travis was mostly concerned because he didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life. Laurie tried to talk some sense into him, and in the process, accused him of “turning into that music producer who murders people.” Before she realized what she’d done, Laurie had encouraged Travis to move to Hawaii.
Meanwhile, the cul-de-sac crew was busy making plans to vacation together. Grayson thought the idea was gagbysmal, which sounded like some sort of intestinal disease, but really it was just a made-up word to show his disdain for their family-style vacay. He was being such a parade rain-er on-er! The crew couldn’t decide on a location, but they wanted it to be incredible — like France, or a trip to a Cracker Jack factory. Fortunately, Travis’ relocation made the decision pretty easy. For the record, if my (future) children decide to deal with their life crises in a beautiful, tropical location, I welcome it!
Travis made the transition into island life with ease. He found a job waxing surfboards, and found a shack to live in. He didn’t even have to join a pack of Hawaiian hobos or fight any no-legged dogs for fish scraps! He even taught the locals how to play Penny Can, except the Hawaii version includes a coconut and a rock. (COCO ROCK!) Travis sat on the beach all day, and partied all night. Really he had the perfect life, which made it difficult for the crew to convince him to return home.
As we learned from Grayson and Jules’ adventures in babysitting, the pair don’t see eye to eye when it comes to having more kids. This was a major theme of the finale, beginning early on when Grayson took care of baby Stan, the cutest ‘roided up baby wrestler with drawn-on six-pack abs ever. And to prove “old ferret eyes is like four centimeters dilated right now,” Ellie baited Grayson with Elmo’s song! Jules decided to heed Laurie’s advice and deal with the issue the Chicago way, à la The Untouchables. This plan worked temporarily, but Jules couldn’t hide from the issue, especially after she forgot her birth control pills. Grayson finally told her that if they wanted to stay together, she at least had to consider having kids.
In other relationship news, Andy and Bobby’s bromance continued to grow. (Is anyone else totally bummed we didn’t get to see them win that square dancing contest?) They even invented a knock language. Bobby, who’s really just a lonely guy, started invading Ellie’s space, which drove her to commit imaginary Hawaiian suicide a.k.a. death by coconut. But eventually it all worked out when Bobby decided to be their vacation surrogate. He would do all the adventurous stuff with Ellie, and all the lady stuff with Andy. Anything for his sugar kids!
Laurie felt really bad about the Travis situation. And since everyone else was busy having fun in Hawaii, it was suddenly up to her to get Trav back home. With a little inspiration from Meredith Baxter-Birney, Laurie came up with a plan, albeit one that would make Travis hate her. They shared a day of bonding and beach fun that gave us a glimpse of what Trav and Laurie might look like as a couple. But once Travis realized Laurie’s scheme was all to prove a point, he was pissed. He agreed to return home and eventually forgave her, and I found myself kind of rooting for this inappropriate couple. What just happened?
Now for all you Scrubs fans, Ted “The Buck” Buckland gets his own special paragraph! Ted (Sam Lloyd) played Travis’ new island buddy who could take any song and make it sad. His repertoire included “Love Shack,” “The Trolley Song,” “Take On Me,” and “Shiny Happy People.” Even away from Sacred Heart Hospital in an island paradise, Ted managed to be miserable and utterly depressing. But his main purpose was to remind us that “Hooch is crazy!” And maybe more importantly, he gave Jules some good advice: “If someone’s really the one, they should be willing to go on any adventure with you.” In the end, Jules told Grayson she would go on any adventure with him, and that included having children.
And now, another special paragraph dedicated to Abed! If you’re a Community fan you already know about Abed’s love for Cougar Town. Laurie and Travis appeared in Community‘s season finale, so naturally, Abed returned the favor by drinking coffee in the background while Laurie and Trav chatted outside Subway. LAUGH! (And for those of you counting, that’s three weeks in a row of Subway product placement!)
Other “Something Good Coming” highlights:
++ The crew includes a dreamer, schemer, queen bee, damaged goods, the iron fist, and the one we all feel sorry for. Who’s who? Ready, go!
++ “I don’t believe in ghosts, because if they were real, I like to think I would be felt up all the time.” –Jules, who later got the chills a.k.a. ghost action
++ “Is middle school style okay? Under the shirt over the bra. Or are we going full-on ninth grade, in which case I’m going to need to rent a hotel room or maybe a boat?” –Laurie
++ All of the ’80s movie sunglasses references (see photo above)
++ Barb!! A short, but fun appearance
++ Tom, who gets paid with head pats, not revealing himself in Hawaii until the episode’s tag
++ Laurie’s vacation boyfriend, Blake, and subsequent VBB (Vacation Boyfriend Breakup, not Very Big Biceps)
++ Big Kimo now joins the ranks of Big Joe and Big Carl.
++ And my favorite moment of the episode, The Morning Routine Song, performed by Grayson with Tom dancing in the background: Brush your teeth/Wash your face/Check your nose just in case/Eat your breakfast/Bacon and eggers/Take your pill so you won’t get preggers!
What’d you think of CT‘s season 2 finale?
Read more: All ‘Cougar Town’ posts on PopWatch