Royal wedding cake

Let them eat cake! Or something. William and Kate are enjoying two royal wedding cakes today: this eight-tiered delight topped by their new royal cipher; and a chocolate-cookie cake specially requested by the groom. Am I disqualified from discussing the Joseph Lambeth cake technique and the 900 floral touches because I can't look at the cake and not wonder what The Office's Deangelo Vickers would do if he got within an arm's length of it. Yes? Good. "Why did I just do that? It's not even that good! I had cake for lunch!… No!"

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