'Cougar Town': 1-855-PENNYCAN. Penny Can!

Cougar Town has been on a way-too-long hiatus so ABC could air Mr. Sunshine in its place. Instead of sunshine, this produced a rather dark, stormy cloud in my life. And while I’m in favor of Courteney Cox’s previous TV husband getting another chance at primetime, I curse the former Mrs. Chanandler Bong for making Cougar Town a distant memory in my TV-centric life.

But because ABC decided to slap out of it and air TWO new episodes this week, I’m willing to let bygones be bygones. ABC, you’re forgiven. Plus, they gave the all-new episode the coveted post-DWTS slot (“Hi Dance Fans, please still be there”). So grab your oversized wine glasses so we can chat about Monday night’s “Walls.”

Bobby, in need of some quick cash, went on a backyard-digging adventure to find his lucky visor, which had been buried in a special time capsule for Travis to open on his 18th birthday. Of course, Travis did not get to open said capsule because Jules forgot about it. Oh, well. It’s the thought that counts, right? Anyway, Bobby was convinced he couldn’t get any money without the help of his visor.

Meanwhile, Travis was bummed because his girlfriend, Kirsten, got a really great post-grad school job offer. (Is this something that happens? I curse the people who get jobs before they graduate.) Unfortunately that job happened to be in Chicago. My extensive knowledge of geography tells me Florida and Illinois do not border each other. Uh oh! Trav’s main squeeze might be exiting stage left pretty soon. (Real world news: The actress who plays Kirsten just scored an NBC pilot.)

Once Travis got wind that his great grandmother’s engagement ring was part of his buried treasure, he took a special interest in finding the time capsule. Ellie helped Jules Sherlock piece together that he probably wanted the ring to propose to Kirsten. That might just keep her from leaving him. Cue Jules’ freakout.

Ellie — being the honest, truth-telling woman that she is — told Jules she needed to calm down and stop being a meddlesome mom. Being clingy was a really bad look on Jules Cobb, just like scarves. But telling Jules to not meddle is sorta like telling the sun not to shine. But you know what? She actually did a pretty good job of learning to let go and let (Travis) live. I imagine this newfound behavior will not last long.

I’m tired. Let’s take break from this recap to play PENNY CAN, a game that’s so dumb and so very addictive! Thanks to a genius Laurie Keller idea, Bobby decided to forget about his visor and market the “Bobby Cobb Official Competition Penny Can” can. The next time I visit Florida, I definitely want to make a stop at the Penny Can World Headquarters. Everyone chipped in to help make the Penny Can business a success. See Laurie’s awesome radio ad: “1-855-PENNYCAN. Ask for Carol. No sex stuff. Penny Can!!” Even Grayson came around and decided to host a Penny Can night at his bar. (I want to go to there.) Can’t you feel the Cul-de-sac Crew love? I’m also glad the gang cleared up a few game rules. If the penny goes in and out, that’s an automatic drawn-on mustache. Already got a mustache? It’s OK! Crazy brows for you! And you can totally try an underhanded throw as long as you don’t mind looking like a sissy man.

Other “Walls” highlights:

++ Human whac-a-mole sounds really dangerous. Please stick to Penny Can, the greatest coin-based game since heads or tails.

++ A Teddy Ruxpin reference that was equally creepy and exciting

++ “He can’t stop [embarrassing you]. He was cooked in her baby oven!” –Ellie on Travis’ behavior

++ Jules thinking Kirsten is a racist for saying “Taiwanese”

++ Blow Up Pup, Laurie’s prequel to Speed about a puppy who blows up if taken across town lines

++ The list of Jules’ meddlesome behavior toward Travis: “Watch him sleep. You scare his girlfriend. You want to live in his blood.”

++ Laurie, Andy, and Bobby agreeing to change the meaning of “kick ass.” For example: Cougar Town was on a kick ass hiatus.

++ Jules’ imaginary hook hands! “I don’t know what we’re doing…”

++ Ellie believing she really had a truck ghost, and Jules facilitating that fear in the episode’s tag

What did you think of last night’s episode? I tip my imaginary hat to “Walls.” How many “B”s does your name have? (For the record, I have two, and I’m pleased with that.)

And most importantly, did you call 1-855-PENNYCAN? It’s a real number, people! Members of the cast and executive producers Bill Lawrence and Kevin Biegel were supposed to answer the cell phone. I got the number early and called last week. A recorded Bobby Cobb answered the phone and told me how I could get my very own Penny Can. Very cool! Did you get through? And who did you get to talk to?