Everyone knows that a real phone conversation doesn’t end until each person on the line says goodbye at least three times in three different ways. Even then, there’s a chance the conversation will survive — especially if you’re my great-aunt and I haven’t properly thanked you for my annual care-package of meats and cheeses. Movies don’t have the luxury of such tediousness, as screenwriter John August points out on his blog, which features a YouTube clip with some egregious examples of abbreviated farewells.

It’s fair that a solid “Thank you,” can pass for the end of a phone conversation, and military brass is excused for their brevity. They’re saving the world! But just once, some director should cut briefly to the perplexed party who finds himself on the short end of a dead phone line. Hello? You there? Hello? Just acknowledge it, please!

Okay? Thanks for reading. One. Talk to you later. Two. Goodbye. Three.