Clamoring as we (media…and maybe you?) all may be for information about who will host The X Factor, actual facts are scarce. We know that Simon Cowell has been vocal about his desire to have a male-female duo host the show, but the names that have been tossed around seem to be all over the place — Gossip Girl‘s Taylor Momsen, Enrique Iglesias, and former Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger are among them.

Based on that celebuffet of potential hosts, I’m not exactly wowed yet. I mean, can you honestly picture sun-kissed Iglesias introducing the next contestant alongside co-host Momsen as she teeters on her platform, patent leather lace-up boots? A Scherzinger-Iglesias ticket might work better (yes, we’re using election terms already), but I’d still be blinded by all the pretty. I think the hosts need to be appealing in a non-threatening kind of way — like Ryan Seacrest or even Brian Dunkleman (RITP — rest in television peace). If I may pun, the hosts will be a big part of the X-Factor in X Factor.

So who should host?

My humble suggestion No. 1: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who’d give the audience a little nostalgia to snack on, loves music, and is cute as a button (does anyone still say that?). Of course, there’s that little issue that he has a career to keep him busy. But this is my dream; don’t poo on it with logic. MHS No. 2: Kellie Pickler. Did you see her when she did work for Jay Leno? Well…I laughed.

Perhaps my vision falls into the “so crazy, it could work” category…or I’m terrible at this. Your turn, and remember: one girl, one guy.

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