By Jeff Labrecque
April 06, 2011 at 04:20 PM EDT
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Leave it to Stephen Colbert to put a damper on the encouraging recent jobs report. According to the Report‘s crack research team, 75 percent of the 200,000 private-sector jobs the nation added in the last month went to one James Franco, Oscar host, incurable student, college prof, and “soaking wet Gucci spokesperson.” “This guy has worked his way around more college campuses than chlamydia,” Colbert ranted. “Nation, James Franco is clearly my Renaissance nemesis, or Rena-nemesis.”

Colbert had a plan to expose his new rival as a fraud — “Why can’t you just take this [success] and run, and turn your life into some slow agonizing yet entertaining downward spiral for the rest of us to watch?” he would later ask — and that included the help of Franco’s evil twin, Frank Jameso. Take a look.

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