Credit: David Gabber/PR Photos

Attention friends, monsters, and embryos: Today, on March 28, 2011, Lady Gaga turns 25 years old. First, pause for a second to beat your head against your desks because, why, why am I so old, so poor, and will never be able to pull off the frozen-section-at-Food Emporium look? But back to Gaga. (And ouch, my head!) Since this is Gaga we’re talking about, I’m imagining her birthday consists of a relaxing bath filled with streamers, glitter, and plush animals followed by a screening of 1974’s Zardoz and a massage from Perez Hilton. But maybe that’s just the concussion I suffered a few sentences ago talking. No, she’s probably Just Like Us, sobbing over cake while watching Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King and sipping Four Loko. (Just me?) Birthdays are fun!

But her birthday party needs gifts, PopWatchers! So what would you give Lady Gaga for her birthday?