By Kate Ward
March 16, 2011 at 09:50 PM EDT
Randy Tepper

This one time… in 1999… we all saw a movie that launched the millennium’s raunchy teen genre: American Pie. And now, 12 years later, comes news from Universal (originally reported by The Wrap) that Jason Biggs, Seann William Scott, and Eugene Levy are on board for a reunion flick, titled American Reunion. Of course, it’s only been eight years since the trio shared the screen in 2003’s American Wedding (and only two years since Levy starred in the direct-to-DVD American Pie Presents: The Book of Love), but here’s where today’s news gets even more exciting: Thomas Ian Nicholas, Tara Reid, Chris Klein, Mena Suvari, and Jennifer Coolidge are all in negotiations to return to the film, which (yes, it gets better!) will be released… in theaters! (Take that American Pie: Band Camp… and American Pie: The Naked Mile… and American Pie: Beta House… and American Pie: Book of Love: Electric Boogaloo!) (UPDATE: Universal tells EW that it is indeed working to bring back all members of the original American Pie.)

Now the main question: Where do you see American Pie‘s characters 12 years later? One notable absence from American Reunion‘s current line-up: Alyson Hannigan, the How I Met Your Mother star who played Jim’s (Jason Biggs) eventual wife, Michelle, in the original film. Does this mean we’ll see a divorced Jim in American Reunion? (We’re sure Scott’s Stifler wouldn’t mind finding him a rebound.) Eddie Kaye Thomas, who played Finch in the original film and its two follow-ups, is also missing from the cast list — a disappointment, considering Jennifer Coolidge (Stifler’s mom) is on board. I’ll just assume that Finch is too busy with his job as Mystery‘s new wingman. As for the cast members we can expect to see in the film — reportedly set to begin shooting on May 24 (apparently, production will not be affected by Scott recently entering treatment for “health and personal issues”) — here are some guesses of what they’re up to:

Jim Levenstein (Jason Biggs): The franchise’s hero is now a divorcé who has taken up a job as (naturally) a comically inept sex ed teacher.

Noah Levenstein (Eugene Levy): Raking in some big bucks, thanks to his flourishing career as a guest star in several raunchy direct-to-DVD comedies.

Steve Stifler (Seann William Scott): Just wrapped filming Jersey Shore season 4.

Kevin Myers (Thomas Ian Nicholas): Comptroller. What, you think he’d be doing something exciting?

Victoria Lathum (Tara Reid): Since Victoria was so “smart,” she’s now a “bio-engineer,” working for “a big important company” on “big important things” and “shaking her head” at Taradise.

Christopher Ostreicher, a.k.a. “Oz” (Chis Klein): Is Dr. Oz.

Heather (Mena Suvari): The jazz choir singer recorded a hit single, “Liquid Dreamz,” followed it with the disastrous “Girrrrrrrl Parrrrrrrty,” and spiraled into an abyss of sex, drugs, rose petals, and more sex. (Hey, this is American Pie.)

Stifler’s Mom (Jennifer Coolidge): Currently being asked by Chris Hansen to sit down and have some sweet tea.

Now your turn, PopWatchers: Where do you see the American Pie characters 12 years after the original? Or, better yet, where do we think the characters will be when Universal greenlights American Nursing Home in 40 years? (Scott, at least, seemed to think it could be a possibility when I spoke to him last year. After asking him when people will stop calling him Stifler, he joked, “I would say about 67. I think I got a chance then. But by then, I probably will have done ten more American Pies, so I don’t know. Maybe it will be forever.”) And are you surprised that the term MILF is old enough to attend the sixth grade?