By James Hibberd
March 01, 2011 at 05:19 AM EST
  • TV Show

Two and Half Men showrunner Chuck Lorre has posted a new vanity card on his Web site that runs after tonight’s episode of Mike & Molly. In the card he addresses Charlie Sheen’s situation for the first time since last week’s media ordnance deployment:

“I understand that I’m under a lot of pressure to respond to certain statements made about me recently. The following are my uncensored thoughts. I hope this will put an end to any further speculation.” Lorre continues:

I believe that consciousness creates the illusion of individuation, the false feeling of being separate. In other words, I am aware, ergo I am alone. I further believe that this existential misunderstanding is the prime motivating force for the neurotic compulsion to blot out consciousness. This explains the paradox of our culture, which celebrates the ego while simultaneously promoting its evisceration with drugs and alcohol. It also clarifies our deep-seated fear of monolithic, one-minded systems like communism, religious fundamentalism, zombies and invaders from Mars. Each one is a dark echo of an oceanic state of unifying transcendence from which consciousness must, by nature, flee. The Fall from Grace is, in fact, a Sprint from Grace. Or perhaps more accurately, “Screw Grace, I am so outta here!”


… Okay, so this might read a bit strange to you. But really, if you worked with Charlie Sheen for eight seasons, you’d probably have to embrace some Zen philosophy too. It will be interesting to see if Sheen takes offense at this card the way he reacted to Lorre’s last vanity card on this subject (the infamous, “If Charlie Sheen outlives me, I’m going to be pissed” one). After Sheen reacted to that declaration, Lorre said he’d “take a break” from writing his custom vanity cards that air after each of his CBS sitcoms, but he probably figures (1) what can it hurt at this point and (2) hardly anybody will be able to figure out what this actually means.

Read more:

Les Moonves talks Charlie Sheen, hopes ‘Men’ returns

Charlie Sheen to fans: ‘Don’t be worried. Celebrate this movement.’

Charlie Sheen says he’d apologize to Moonves, puts down John Stamos as ‘Men’ replacement

Two and a Half Men’ crew will get paid

Sheen lawyer: Pay him for dumped episodes!

Charlie Sheen says he will sue CBS, apologizes (sort of) to Chuck Lorre

Charlie Sheen on ‘Today’: ‘It’s $3 mil an episode, take it or leave it’

Charlie Sheen passes drug test

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