By Mike Bruno
Updated February 28, 2011 at 01:11 PM EST

Two and a Half Men

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The Charlie Sheen Warlock tour kicked off on the Today Show this morning with an interview between the Two and a Half Men star and NBC’s Jeff Rossen. Sheen addressed some of the huge questions surrounding the “war” he has declared against CBS and Men executive producer Chuck Lorre, including his recent self-treatment for what remains a rather ill-defined ailment. Sheen told Rossen he doesn’t remember the last time he did drugs (results of a drug test revealed on GMA this morning also indicate that he is clean), and said he has rejected the “fiction” of Alcoholics Anonymous and its “5 percent success rate.” Instead, he created the Sober Valley Lodge in his own home, he told Rossen, and wouldn’t allow AA to be any part of it. “Their primary client achieved radical success,” Sheen said of Sober Lodge (which, again, is his house). When Rossen asked if relapse was an issue, Sheen replied that relapse was only for “Fools, trolls, weak, defeated — they allowed defeat to be an option. I will not.”

When Rossen asked Sheen about career prospects in the wake of recent events, the actor alluded to a number of movie offers on the table now that he is available again. But he also said that as a “man of my word” he would return to Two and a Half Men, but that he has a new condition: Instead of the current $2 million he makes an episode, Sheen said he’d come back but only if “It’s $3 mil an episode. Take it or leave it.”

Sheen described the situation as a “war” with CBS, which he said is trying to take his and his family’s money, and said the network owes him a big public apology, “licking my feet.”

“They picked a fight with a warlock,” he said (and amazingly, Rossen did not follow up).

As has been the case since his radio tirade last week, Sheen directed much of his “violent hatred” toward Lorre. At one point in the interview, he pulled out a slip of paper and read three questions he had prepared for the producer:

1) “Why is it when I was ready to return to work you told me there were are no scripts ready to shoot?”

2) “Why is it you issued a decree informing me that the remaining eight shows of season 8 had been reduced down to four, stating as well that season 8, our highest rated season to date … was suddenly to halt production two weeks earlier than scheduled?”

3) “When you were told that the crew would suffer greatly due to your dictatorial laziness, would you please explain what you meant by your statement, ‘They are not my problem’?”

The tour’s next stop is the hour-long special edition of 20/20 — “Charlie Sheen: In His Own Words” — set to air on Tuesday at 10 p.m. ET.

I’m not sure he’s winning me over with any of the “I’m not gonna take it any more!” press he’s doing, but I have enjoyed watching him try. What about you, PopWatchers? Team Sheen or Team Lorre? And even if you’re Team Lorre, is tomorrow’s 20/20 must-see TV for you anyway?

Read more:

Charlie Sheen passes drug test

Charlie Sheen decoded: Where ‘Chaim Levine’ comes from

Anti-Defamation League criticizes Sheen for ‘borderline anti-Semitism’

Charlie Sheen says he’ll show up for work next week regardless of shutdown

Charlie Sheen not going to HBO

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Two and a Half Men

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