Two and a Half Men | Monday, 8-8:30 p.m., CBS The warlock has left the building. With the spectacular, bridge-burning, jumping-down-?the-inflatable-?emergency-slide exit of Charlie Sheen from Two and a Half Men…

Image Credit: Greg Gayne/CBSCharlie Sheen ripped Two and a Half Men co-creator Chuck Lorre — as well as Alcoholics Anonymous and women he parties with — in a stunning live radio rant Thursday, and then followed up a few hours later with a reported second rant to TMZ directed at Lorre specifically.

Calling into the Alex Jones Show radio program according to TMZ, Sheen called the executive producer of his hit TV show a "clown" and said his real name is "Haim Levine" (Lorre was born Charles Michael Levine).

"I didn't care about that vanity card, I went straight home and dispelled that, that was actually one of the few compliments that clown has paid me in frickin' almost a decade," Sheen says of the vanity card Lorre ran after the Feb. 14 episode of Men, saying he will be pissed if Sheen outlives him. "I embarrassed him in front of his children and the world by healing at a pace that this un-evolved mind cannot process. I've spent, I think, close to the last decade, I don't know, effortlessly and magically converting your tin can into pure gold. And the gratitude I get is this charlatan chose not to do his job, which is to write."

Seemingly referring to women he parties with, Sheen says, "If I bring up these turds, these… losers, there's no reason to then bring them back into the fold because I have real fame, they have nothing. They have zero. They have that night. And I will forget about them as the last image of them exits my beautiful home. And they will get out there and they will sell me and they will lose. Bring me a frickin' challenge. It just ain't there."

Regarding AA, Sheen called the organization a "bootleg cult" with a five percent success rate.

"I have a disease?" he said. "Bulls—. I cured it… with my mind… it's all good guys. Quit panicking. No panic, no judgment… You can kill me but you do not have the right to judge me… I can't use the word sober because that's a term from those people, and I have cleansed myself. I have closed my eyes and in a nanosecond I cured myself from this ridiculous… It's just the work of sissies. The only thing I'm addicted to right now is winning. You know? This bootleg cult arrogantly referred to as AA now supports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent. Do the math! One of their stupid mottos is 'Don't be special, be one of us.' News flash: I am special and I will never be one of you. 'Oh, we have to all sit in here and touch ourselves and frown.' Well, you don't look like you're having a lot of fun. I'm going to hang out with these two smokin' hotties and fly privately around the world. It might be lonely up here but I sure like the view."

"I'm so tired of pretending like my life isn't perfect and bitchin' and just winning every second," he continued. "I'm not perfect, and bitching and just delivering the goods at every f—ing turn. Because look what I'm dealing with, man — I'm dealing with fools and trolls. I'm dealing with soft targets."

At one point he also refers to himself and the interviewer as "Vatican assassin warlocks." At another point, Sheen seems to make a threat against unspecified attackers: "I'm done. It's on. Bring it. As I say. I ain't hiding. You know? And if you're part of my family, I will love you violently. If you infiltrate and try to hurt my family, I will murder you violently." The interviewer suggests that Sheen's talking about "the info war," and the actor agrees.

CBS, Warner Bros. and Sheen's publicist all have no comment, for now. Men is set to resume production on Monday, with Sheen due on the set on Tuesday. Sheen was adamant that he was clean, but his comments towards Lorre (who also exec produces CBS hits The Big Bang Theory and Mike & Molly) do raise the question of how the network and studio will respond.

Later, TMZ claims it reached Sheen in the Bahamas, where he escalated his rhetoric against Lorre: "I violently hate Chaim Levine [Chuck Lorre]. He's a stupid, stupid little man and a p—- punk that I'd never want to be like. That's me being polite. That piece of s— took money out of my pocket, my family's pocket, and, most importantly, my second family — my crew's pocket. You can tell him one thing: I own him." (Additional reporting by Kate Ward)

UPDATE: CBS and Warner Bros. Television issued a joint statement discontinuing production of Two and a Half Men for the rest of the season.

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Two and a Half Men | Monday, 8-8:30 p.m., CBS The warlock has left the building. With the spectacular, bridge-burning, jumping-down-?the-inflatable-?emergency-slide exit of Charlie Sheen from Two and a Half Men…
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