Image Credit: Dan MacMedan/WireImage.comCharlie Sheen returned to DirecTV’s The Dan Patrick Show this morning to address his on-set behavior and whether he’ll return for the eighth season of Two and A Half Men. “Oh God, yeah!” He told Patrick over the phone. “Because I have a two-year deal. I’m a man of my word.”

Sheen said he’s never been under the influence while shooting Men over the last seven seasons. “The shape I was showing up in was epic, was beyond comprehension. [I’ve] never been drunk, never been high on the set once. But, I would show up not having slept much. Doing a network run-through and asking the director, Jamie, to move my mark a little bit so I could be next to a piece of furniture or a table so I wouldn’t fall over. That is an expert move by a seasoned professional. I’m sorry, an amateur stays on his mark and then falls over during the run-through.”

He also addressed the vanity card written by Men uber-producer Chuck Lorre, who indicated “I’m gonna be really pissed” if Sheen outlived him: “This is a giant compliment. Chuck offered an olive branch, this is how I interpreted it. He’s going through all this stuff about what he does. This is about him personally. It doesn’t get to me, it’s not about me until the end. It’s a reflection of how he feels, in comparison to how insane my life appears at times. So, I took it as a huge compliment. He basically wrote a brilliant little piece of literature and called me Superman… We are fine! ”

Patrick even inquired about Sheen’s intervention. “People need to understand how supremely grateful I am that someone stepped in here. I don’t want to say who, but you know, basically, Viacom showed up at my house and said ‘Dude, it’s getting really obvious and we’re really worried about you. We don’t give a rat’s tooey about the show, we care about your health.’ So, they came in and just man-to-man and said ‘We have to shut it down.’”

Any day now, Warner Bros. TV is expected to announce when Men will resume production.

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Two and a Half Men | Monday, 8-8:30 p.m., CBS The warlock has left the building. With the spectacular, bridge-burning, jumping-down-?the-inflatable-?emergency-slide exit of Charlie Sheen from Two and a Half Men…
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