Our favorite lines from the week in TV, featuring ''Glee,'' ''Cougar Town,'' and ''The Soup''

”Ashton Kutcher, Ice-T, and Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit have all tweeted about the situation in Egypt. Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak said he won’t do anything until Jared from Subway weighs in.”
— Conan O’Brien on Conan

”I don’t want to die yet. At least not until One Tree Hill gets canceled.”
— Brittany (Heather Morris), after Sue (Jane Lynch) tells her she’ll be shot out of a cannon for a new Cheerios routine, on Glee

”The first season of Bridalplasty finally came to an end, and it was amazing… in that no one died.”
— Joel McHale on The Soup

”When I said I didn’t want to do anything tonight, it didn’t mean I wanted to be alone while you acted like you just got a rose on the gay hillbilly version of The Bachelor!”
— Ellie (Christa Miller), to husband Andy (Ian Gomez), who ditched her on Valentine’s Day for a guys’ night, on Cougar Town

”No, you’re not British. You’re rich.”
— Andy Cohen, to The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills stars Lisa and Ken Vanderpump, who claimed they don’t know about ”poor people” things like Kohl’s because they’re not from America, on Watch What Happens: Live