We may never know. Some guesses:

…how much makeup I am wearing

…the power of faux-fur


…me for a leading role in the Dynasty movie, or as a doll model. "If you want a rematch, just whistle! If you can!"


….gilded swimming pools and indoor columns: hot for 2011

…mah humps mah humps mah humps

…the benefits of a healthy diet. (Why else would she be doubled over in gastrointestinal pain like that?)

…my Oscar chances now a liiiiiiittle shaky

Melissa Leo, who's already won the Critics Choice, Golden Globe, and SAG awards for her role as the decidedly un-glam Alice Ward in The Fighter, offered herself up for consideration in a bizarre, personally funded Oscar campaign that was surprisingly not a joke! [Deadline]

Any better guesses, PopWatchers? (Larger images after the break.)

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