The funniest TV lines from the week of Jan. 28, 2011

By EW Staff
January 28, 2011 at 05:00 AM EST

”My girlfriend Lucy is the sexiest woman in town. She’s Cuban, she’s got tattoos, and she’s into me, which as far as I’m concerned is the sexiest quality a woman can have.” —Tom (Aziz Ansari) on Parks and Recreation

”Are you on Facial Book?” —Alan (George Segal) on Retired at 35

”Big news in the world of media — after months of negotiations, the government has finally told cable giant Comcast that they may purchase NBC. All I have to say to Comcast is, ‘Keep your receipt.”’ —Conan O’Brien on Conan

”Oh, he apologized? Well, I guess that completely unbangs that stripper.” — Britta (Gillian Jacobs), to Shirley (Yvette Nicole Brown), after Shirley said she was getting back together with her cheating ex-husband because he apologized, on Community