The Bullseye: Feb. 4, 2011
· George Lopez trades clothes with Johnny Weir, reunites 90210‘s Brandon and Dylan. Forget Team Coco; we’re Team Lopo.
· The tribe has spoken and we want Jeff Probst to replace Regis.
· Ashton Kutcher has a No. 1 movie, Mila Kunis has an Oscar-nominated film, and the guy who played Fez has…memories.
· Anderson Cooper proves that silver foxes are born, not made.
· Old Kevin Smith: ”fat, masturbating stoner”; new Kevin Smith: really cool ”fat, masturbating stoner.”
· ”Her face made me want to learn how to box.” — Laurie (Busy Philipps) on Cougar Town
· Hubba, hubba!
· The thing growing under Steven Tyler’s lip.
· Skins: just like Disney Channel, except all the scandals are on camera.
· Jennifer Hudson’s new single asks ”Where You At.” We’re ”at” a point where we’re sick of song titles that end with prepositions.
· The Razzies nominate Cher, Barbra, and Liza for Worst Supporting Actress. In semirelated news, the gays are no longer speaking to the Razzies.
· Gayvy! Gayvy Crockett! Queen of the wild frontier.
· The Parents Television Council: not so much a moral watchdog as a moral poodle that yaps constantly for no good reason.
· Russell Brand gives Helen Mirren his used underwear. ”Finally, I have something to polish my Oscar with,” says Mirren.
· Oprah announces she has a half sister; somewhere Gayle is making a voodoo doll.
· Suddenly, Bill O’Reilly’s life just got a whole lot calmer.
· Snooki’s drinking on Jersey Shore: It’s like watching an episode of Intervention without the intervention.
· Pete Wentz: stepping out on behalf of plushies everywhere.