We’re getting closer to the final round of our Big Shill bracket game, PopWatchers. Hearts will be broken. Minds will be blown. Beloved pitchmen, pitch-women, and pitch-creatures will duel in the sand, until only one remains. It’s just like a gladiator duel, except with charming animals and charismatic nameless humans. In today’s match-up, you must make two terrible decisions:
Tony the Tiger vs. the GEICO Gecko
The Snapple Lady vs. The Old Spice Guy
TONY THE TIGER
Product: Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes
Debut year: 1951
Catchphrase: “They’re Grrrreat!”
Claim to fame: He brings out the tiger in you. He beat out three other potential mascots for the long-term gig: Katy the Kangaroo, Newt the Gnu, and Elmo the Elephant.
Strength: He’s got a great voice. He knows the value of a good breakfast — and patience. He would only let the children with him accept physical challenges after they ate the cereal. (Watch Tony and Jerry O’Connell bobsled.)
Weakness: Adults may have grown to love the taste, but Tony seems to take a backseat when they’re the target demo.
Debut year: 1999
Catchphrase: Can an accent be a catchphrase?
Claim to fame: The tiny green bloke is a vehicular insurance savant obsessed with saving customer’s money.
Strength: Don’t be misled by his cuteness — the Gecko is no one’s clown. He’ll steamroll you with facts, and you’ll thank him for it.
Weakness: No one likes a know-it-all. Also, lacks eyelids.
Product: Snapple beverages
Debut year: 1993
Catchphrase: “Made from the best stuff on earth!”
Claim to fame: Real-life Snapple employee Wendy Kaufman began answering letters sent to the company, some ad execs took a shine to her, and the rest is advertising history.
Strength: A New Jersey fan asked her to the prom — and, be honest, she is so instantly appealing, you’re kinda jealous you hadn’t thought to do the same.
Weakness: Opening all those letters is bound to lead to a fair number of paper cuts.
THE OLD SPICE GUY
Product: Old Spice body wash
Debut year: 2010
Catchphrase: “Swan dive!”
Claim to fame: The virile renaissance man (played by Isaiah Mustafa) is everything you or your man is not, but at least there is a chance of smelling as great as he does.
Strength: Where do we begin? He can bake a gourmet cake in the dream kitchen he built for you with his own two hands. Plus, he’s on a horse.
Weakness: Does he even know what a swan dive is? Because that’s not a swan dive.