Image Credit: Budweiser Clydesdales: Scott Cunningham/Getty Images Cereal, beer, dough, bananas… welcome to round 2 of EW’s Big Shill bracket game. Today, we kick off matchups between the 32 remaining Shilldabeasts (check out the entire bracket here) with eight fresh battles:
The Noid vs. Pillsbury Dough Boy
Count Chocula vs. the Budweiser clydesdales
Cap n Crunch vs. Miss Chiquita Banana
Snapple Lady vs. Dos Equis’ Most Interesting Man in the World
Check out our contender bios and TV commercial clips, then vote in the polls below.
PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY
Product: A vast array of Pillsbury products, from biscuits to icing.
Debut year: 1965
Catchphrase: “Nothing says loving like [insert product name here]. Tee-hee!”
Claim to fame: That high-pitched giggle at the end of every ad is easily one of the most instantly recognizable sounds in advertising.
Strength: So adorable, people do not ever seem to mind he’s wandering around their kitchens, randomly interfering with their baking.
Weakness: Those same people simply will not stop touching his tummy.
Product: Domino’s pizza
Debut year: 1986
Catchphrase: He never spoke, though he inspired the ad campaign’s phrase “Avoid the Noid”
Claim to fame: Psychotic little claymation guy in a red jumpsuit with rabbit ears whose sole purpose in life was to ruin your delivery pizza before it reached your door
Strength: Wields an impressive array of pint-sized weapons, like the spring-loaded pogo-anvil pizza crusher and the subzero ice blower that instantly turns objects into brittle frozen matter
Weakness: Domino’s, man. Like Noid Kryptonite.
Product: Count Chocula Cereal
Debut year: 1971
Catchphrase: “Loads of chocolatey marshmallows in every bowl!”
Claim to fame: Along with fellow mascots/rivals Franken Berry and Boo Berry, the Count has held children in his thrall for his sugary cereal (that’s part of a complete breakfast, mind) for going on four decades.
Strength: Beyond his iron-fisted control of the “monster cereal” market (the beasts Berry never stood a chance, really), he also pre-dates Sesame Street‘s Count Von Count by a year.
Weakness: Beyond the fact it seems … unnatural for a vampire to be so obsessed with chocolatey marshmallows, he should never, ever, take human form again.
Debut year: 1933
Catchphrase: “Clip-clop, clip-clop, clippety-clop”
Claim to fame: These majestic equines have been delivering beer for Anheuser-Busch since the end of prohibition, and their heart-warming commercials are must-sees during the winter holidays and the Super Bowl.
Strength: If the clydesdales weren’t already an American treasure, their post 9/11 ad put them on a sacred pedestal right next to apple pie and baseball.
Weakness: These blue-bloods can make Santa’s reindeer seem inclusive.
Product: Cap’n Crunch cereal
Debut year: 1963
Catchphrase: Crunchatize Me, Cap’n!
Claim to fame: Battling soggies, of course. Well, that and making sure kids loved the entire line of Cap’n cereals.
Strength: Sugar highs.
Weakness: Well, that apostrophe isn’t doing anyone any favors… and neither is the crummy nutrition…
MISS CHIQUITA BANANA
Product: Bananas! And other produce. But mainly bananas!
Debut year: 1944
Catchphrase: “I’m Chiquita Banana.”
Claim to fame: Successfully transformed from an anthropomorphic banana to a beautiful real woman, perhaps because the sight of a well-dressed banana selling her fellow bananas to be eaten proved traumatic to ’50s youth.
Strength: In her original form, she’s high in potassium. In human form, she’s hot!
Weakness: The no-nudity clause in her contract hurts her chances of getting work. See her opponent below.
Product: Snapple beverages
Debut year: 1993
Catchphrase: “Made from the best stuff on earth!”
Claim to fame: Real-life Snapple employee Wendy Kaufman began answering letters sent to the company, some ad execs took a shine to her, and the rest is advertising history.
Strength: A New Jersey fan asked her to the prom — and, be honest, she is so instantly appealing, you’re kinda jealous you hadn’t thought to do the same.
Weakness: Opening all those letters is bound to lead to a fair number of paper cuts.
THE MOST INTERESTING MAN IN THE WORLD
Product: Dos Equis beer
Debut year: 2006
Catchphrase: “Stay thirsty, my friends.”
Claim to fame: Rugged, yet distinguished, manly, yet sensitive, the Most Interesting Man in the World lives the sexy, adventurous life you don’t have the guts to even think about. And when he drinks beer, he drinks Dos Equis.
Strength: “Bulls flat out refuse to fight him.” So who the hell are you?
Weakness: We’re too afraid to say.