By Sandra Gonzalez
January 07, 2011 at 12:00 PM EST

Day 4 of EW’s Big Shill bracket game is admittedly a tough one. In one matchup, we pit two American heroes who fight our greatest foes (obesity and bad cell reception) against each other when Jared of Subway fame goes up against that man from Verizon who asks if we can hear him. We do, good man. We do. In another race, we have a face-off of human-like entities that, if you’re anything like yours truly, might have made cameos in some of your nightmares: The Burger King and the Geico cavemen. Then we have two beloved birds going beak-to-beak and the cuddly bears of Charmin trying to out-cute the Snuggle bear. So many choices, so little time, PopWatchers! Check out the entire bracket here, and then get to voting!

VERIZON WIRELESS ‘CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?’ GUY

(Paul Marcarelli)

Product: Verizon Wireless

Debut year: 2002

Catchphrase: Need you ask?

Claim to fame: Delivered the phrase most people now use ironically when you can’t hear them. And he looks like Rivers Cuomo.

Strength: Clear cell reception and horn-rimmed glasses.

Weakness: Probably a very large phone bill

JARED FROM SUBWAY

(Jared S. Fogle)

Product: Subway sandwiches

Debut year: 2000

Catchphrase: “Eat fresh”

Claim to fame: Lost 245 pounds on the Subway diet and inspired others to do the same…we’re told.

Strength: Makes weight loss look as appealing and fun as a foot-long sweet onion Teriyaki. We think that’s a strength…

Weakness: None of his pants fit.

GEICO CAVEMEN

Product: GEICO insurance

Debut year: 2004

Catchphrase: Well, they don’t say it, but…” so easy, a caveman could do it.”

Claim to fame: Politically correct prehistorics who have no tolerance for prejudice

Strength: An unwavering dedication to justice and cheap auto insurance

Weakness: Unable to carry their own sitcom.

THE BURGER KING

Product: Burger King “food”

Debut year: 1955 as a cartoon and was phased out in the 80s for the BK Kids Club Gang. The King reemerged in around 2003, this time as a human with an oversized head. The King that stalks your nightmares now was introduced around 2005

Catchphrase: “Have it your way” (Again, he doesn’t technically say anything…)

Claim to fame: Breaking boundaries of personal space in order to deliver fast food meals

Strength: Monarch

Weakness: Overdressed

SONNY THE CUCKOO BIRD

Product: Cocoa Puffs

Debut year: 1962; redesigned in 2004

Catchphrase: “I’m cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!”

Claim to fame: Bird with maniacal hunger for chocolate-flavored corn-puffed cereal product

Strength: Wears body-elongating vertical stripes

Weakness: Might be battling an addiction

TOUCAN SAM

Product: Fruit Loops

Debut year: 1963

Catchphrase: “Follow my nose! It always knows!”

Claim to fame: Dignified, well-educated avian spokesperson for cereal that ironically contains no actual fruit.

Strengths: Spoke some Pig Latin in original commercials and later developed a British accent

Weakness: Again: British. Accent. What’s not to like?

SNUGGLE THE FABRIC SOFTENER BEAR

Product: Snuggle fabric softener

Debut year: 1983

Catchphrase: None

Claim to fame: Laundry-loving bear hawking fabric softener that rubs himself all over your clean clothes

Strength: Intimidating red eyes

Weakness: He’s naked.

CHARMIN BEARS

Product: Charmin toilet paper

Debut year: 2001

Catchphrase: “Cha Cha Cha…Charmin”

Claim to fame: Environmentally conscious bears that believe less is more

Strength: They aim to help the Earth and save the rainforests

Weakness: Rouge post-wiping toilet paper bits

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