Birds are dying! And fish! And crabs! Is the world ending? Let's ask Aaron Eckhart, circa 2003.
Image Credit: Rob McEwanThe world is ending – according to the news.
It snowed in Los Angeles on Monday after raining for a week straight in December. Thousands of dead fish and crabs are washing up on beaches in Florida and England. Birds are dropping dead from the sky in several states, and soon, a film about Justin Bieber will see wide release in 3D. What is going on?
Let’s ask Aaron Eckhart. Before delivering an Oscar-worthy performance last year in Rabbit Hole that Dave Karger calls “emotionally affecting,” Eckhart starred as a geophysicist in a wonderfully bad Armageddon-meets-The-Day-After-Tomorrow film called The Core, a film which skews heavily towards the fiction part of sci-fi genre. In the film, birds do in fact drop from the sky, fish wash up on the beach, and strange storms appear suddenly all around the world.
Is this coincidence, or is The Core actually happening? That depends on whether or not you believe the government has concocted an earthquake weapon by drilling deep into the earth and zapping the core with a massive laser. Yeah, this movie is awesome. Check out the trailer below:
In The Core, the US government commissions a secret program codenamed DESTINI (stands for Deep Earth Seismic Trigger INItiative – doesn’t this sound great already?), which turns out to be an earthquake weapon. The experiments cause the earth’s core to stop spinning, which screws with the earth’s magnetic field and other science things, which causes birds to go crazy and drop out of the sky and weird storms to appear everywhere.
What’s the logical response here? Drill through the planet in a snakelike vehicle made of magically heat-resistant metals mounted with lasers and bomb the core until it starts moving again?
Of course. Now, if the science of The Core holds true, we can expect the Aurora Borealis to appear in the sky on a regular basis, the Golden Gate bridge to collapse as a result of a massive space-bound ray of microwave energy, and all of our electronics to stop working. Are you freaking out? I’m freaking out.
For the record, early news reports say that the birds were startled from their nests by fireworks and died from stress, which seems rather dubious to me. Too many pretty colorful lights, or the Earth’s core ceasing to rotate? I’m not sure which explanation I believe less.
What do you think, PopWatchers? Is the world ending? More importantly, are you going to add The Core to your Netflix queue?