The funniest TV lines from the week of December 10, 2010


”Babies are cool. Till you’ve done everything there is to do with them. Then you get bored. That’s why TV shows about babies never last more than a year.” —Burt (Garret Dillahunt), in a clever wink to his own show, on Raising Hope

”I was very disappointed to see that under all that dynamite there’s, like, a two-inch fuse.” —Lisa Vanderpump, after seeing her male houseguest’s assets through a Speedo, on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

”Why do you even need soap? Are you that bad at going to the bathroom?” —Dwight (Rainn Wilson) to Pam (Jenna Fischer), justifying his cost-cutting efforts at work, on The Office

”To boost revenue, airports are adding more bars and keeping them open longer. Now we can get rid of TSA screeners and people will voluntarily pat each other down.” —Chelsea Handler on Chelsea Lately

”His sacrifice made you what you are today, which is the lowest-level employee at the last-place network in America.” —Jack (Alec Baldwin), trying to explain to Kenneth (Jack McBrayer) why eating his pet pig was actually a good thing, on 30 Rock