1. James Cameron to release two Avatar sequels, the first in 2014, the second in 2015
CliffsNotes version: Cameron to make a lot more blue, green.
2. Ashton and Demi cleared following NCAA investigation into whether they had improper contact with University of Iowa basketball recruits
Finally, some closure in that cheating story.
3. Bee Gees in talks with Steven Spielberg for big-screen biopic
”If we can’t have him, we don’t want nobody, baby,” sang Barry Gibb, before adding in a normal voice: ”Well, maybe Scorsese…”
4. Zach Galifianakis smokes ”joint” on Bill Maher
Nice one. But maybe he should’ve removed the kid from his BabyBjörn first.
5. Charlie Sheen calls rumors that he trashed hotel room while high and naked with porn star ”totally overblown”
And let’s face it, Charlie Sheen knows a thing or two about being overblown.
6. Editor of Shape mag says it was ”terrible mistake” to put admitted adulteress LeAnn Rimes on October cover
Next month, Shape will apologize for ”Randy Quaid’s 5 Tips for Healthy Eating on the Go.”
7. Tom Cruise offered role in film adaptation of ’80s-metal-themed Broadway musical Rock of Ages
If you scoffed, then clearly you missed his Off Off Off Broadway show, Top Guns N’ Roses.
8. Australian politician wants to salute Kylie Minogue by naming new type of mango after her
”It’s not as cool as it sounds,” Fiona Apple muttered to Kylie. ”More ceremonial than anything.”
9. City in China now paying residents for all cigarette butts they remove from streets
Back in the U.S., reps for Keith Richards and John Mellencamp scratch their heads at the curious request for a Mellencamp-Richards gig at Xianyang-apalooza.
10. Audrina Patridge’s mom apologizes for drunken, profane rant against Lauren Conrad, Hills stars
So, to recap: Dina Lohan — not the worst mother in Hollywood…this week.