The funniest TV lines from the week of October 25


”She’s paranoid, needy, and jealous. All of which make her good in bed, but the rest of the time it’s hell.” —Ray (Zach Galifianakis) on Bored to Death

”When we first met, you thought there were only two roles for women — making a cake or jumping out of one!” —Lynette (Felicity Huffman), to her husband, Tom (Doug Savant), on Desperate Housewives

”It’s so hard to date here, the real New York makes Sex and the City look like a freakin’ cakewalk.” —Patti Stanger, about moving her business from L.A. to NYC for the new season, on The Millionaire Matchmaker

”I have to talk to Rachel Maddow. Only one of us can have this haircut.” —Jack (Alec Baldwin) on 30 Rock

”Hollywood ages women quickly anyway, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to help them.” —Martha Plimpton on being 39 and playing a grandmother on Raising Hope