I recently moved to a so-called swing state, which has made my TV viewing much more exciting this political season. You see, while you might be repelled by the shameless mudslinging that takes place in those vile 30-second bits on your TV, I have a sordid appreciation for this sort of combat. (I won’t even fast-forward through commercials when I watch my stories on DVR anymore, out of fear of missing the perfect package of willful misinformation.) One recent three-minute commercial break was entirely made up of nasty political ads, with one candidate’s smears immediately following his opponents’, almost as a rebuttal. (I wonder if campaigns jockey to air first or second in this scenario, and I wonder if TV stations realize that and charge different rates as a result.)

Some might just shake their heads at our current breakdown in political civility, but to those, I say, “Hogwash!” American politics has always been vicious, and the Founding Fathers were as ruthless and cold-blooded as today’s mere amateurs. Check out this inspired faux ad from If only John Adams could’ve told voters that Jefferson’s Louisiana Purchase was really motivated by TJ’s unquenchable hunger for bald-eagle eggs.