By Annie Barrett
Updated August 03, 2020 at 06:14 PM EDT
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The masterful It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown airs in just an hour, and ABC has been inexplicably airing those horrifying “Pumpkin Rap” promos all week. Had we not suffered enough in 2009?! I don’t see how a blog item could be more sincere than this one! To quote Linus, “Nothing but sincerity as far as the eye can see!” EWWWWW.com. Without further ado…

‘Pumpkin Rap’ promo: Top 5 Things That Make Me Die Inside

5. “Hey party people, it’s Charlie B. / Bringing Halloween Thursday to ABC.”

4. “Rakin’ leaves and rollin’ on a pumpkin / Trick or treat, then the party gets thumpin’!”

3. “But where is Linus? This party is posh. / He’s waitin’ in the field for a mythical squash.”

2. Charlie Brown’s super-smug “Word.” at the end. Charlie Brown is not smug!

1. HIS LIPS DON’T SYNC AT ALL.

Are any of you blockheads tuning in tonight despite this travesty?

Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett

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