Well, if I were to base my perception of prison on this exclusive poster for Dec. 3’s I Love You Phillip Morris — and not on National Geographic Channel’s Lockdown — I’d say the penitentiary is hardly a place where you have to craft homemade shivs MacGyver-style out of soap, a bed sheet, and a poster of Rita Hayworth when you’re not fearing for your life. Instead, this ad for the movie — about two cellmates who fall in love — makes prison look like a heavenly jaunt in the electrically fenced-in park where you can spend your days gleefully teaching geometry lessons with your body. (And loaf around in loafers all day!) Don’t you just want to use Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor for a cookie mold?

And who else, for whatever reason, is humming Rusted Root’s “Send Me On My Way” while looking at this poster?

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