Not every videogame makes you kill things, but some (most?) of the best ones do. And in the near-quarter century since Contra taught children about the crucial importance of a Spread Gun, the weapons we use in videogames have evolved in several different directions. Some games, like Call of Duty, pride themselves on excruciating realism (TAR-21, SCAR-H, F2000, OMFGWTF-5000…) Other games, like the just-released Dead Rising 2, invent deliriously unreal homicide tools. (My personal favorite: the Drill Bucket.) But what is the greatest videogame weapon of them all?

To me, the best digital weaponry combines purely shallow thrill (How cool does your character look wielding this?) with gameplay longevity (How often can I use this weapon without getting tired of it?) With that in mind, here’s my top five:

1. Golf Club, Grand Theft Auto: Vice City

2. Portal Gun, Portal

3. Hidden Blade, Assassin’s Creed

4. Twin DD44 Dostovei, GoldenEye

5. The Blades of Chaos, God of War

PopWatchers, what are your personal favorite videogame weapons? Which do you prefer: Samus’ Grapple-beam or Link’s Hookshot? What’s worse, Final Fantasy VIII‘s Gunblade or Kingdom Hearts‘ Keyblade? (Okay, I’ll admit it…I kinda like the Keyblade.) Am I the only one who thinks the Lancer from Gears of War is kind of meh after the first twenty chainsaw cinematics? Sound off below!