It’s been an awfully quiet summer in the world of Miley Cyrus. There hasn’t been a new dance party anthem — leaving me to rely on my old standards, “See You Again” and “Party in the U.S.A.” — and I can’t bear the thought of enduring a Nicholas Sparks melodrama just to get a Miley fix. Without her Twitter, rumors this summer ran rampant, so finally the raspy voiced teen star filmed a video to set things straight and update her fans on her busy teen life.
Miley introduced fans to her new rescue dog (point 1 for Miley), joked about gaining weight on vacation (point 2 for Miley), and really did her part to come across as a normal teen girl wanting to live a normal teen life, even if that life includes an immaculately decorated, NYC studio apartment-sized shoe closet. It was great to see her acknowledge that she needed to go take a math quiz — even if she was procrastinating said math quiz to make a video. (Miley Cyrus stalling on math homework — I always knew we could be friends.) Of course, Miley proved that after her math, she could stand to brush up on her geography, with her “California is not the most beautiful city in the world” comment.
Rumors Miley debunked in the nearly 10-minute video: She is not engaged (last I heard, she was single), she is not living with a significant other (why move out of your parents’ house when there are huge shoe closets?), and she did not get arrested for driving while on the cell phone. It’s nice knowing that Miley is a law-abiding citizen — other former teen stars have me really worried these days. Topics I wish Miley covered: Which teeth whitening system she uses.