By Christian Blauvelt
Updated September 22, 2010 at 05:00 PM EDT
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50 Cent is feuding with Oprah again. No, not that Oprah. Actually, the “In da Club” rapper has a pet dog named “Oprah Whine Free,” and — guess what? — the pooch just joined Twitter. As you can imagine, her Bio is merely “50 Cent’s bitch.” In just 24 hours after signing up, Oprah the Dog already has over 7,000 followers and has been tweeting up a storm, even provoking an outraged response from PETA.

As brainless an endeavor as this might seem, this actually got me thinking about two things: First, Fiddy has a dog named Oprah?! To refresh your memory, in 2006 he went all Jonathan Franzen on the Queen of All Media for not featuring more rappers on her talk-show. (At the time, he said “I think she caters to older white women. So I could care less about Oprah or her show.”) Needless to say, naming his dog after Ms. Winfrey doesn’t seem like an affectionate homage.

Second, Fiddy has a sense of humor? As Oprah’s Twitter ghostwriter, it seems the answer is yes. Oprah’s been using her new account mostly to vent against her master. A few sample tweets: “About to go to the studio w/my dad tonight to make a hit record ‘teach you how to doggie’ its gonna be hotter than the s–t my dad’s writing”; “he aint made a classic since get rich or die tryin”; “f— this I need a new owner.” As a particularly low blow, Oprah added, “DMX wouldn’t have treated me like this…” And you thought Kanye’s feed had cornered the market on crazy!

Mr. Cent responded to these insults with a TwitPic showing him threateningly brandishing a knife in front of his verbose canine. PETA’s Michelle Cho immediately criticized the pic on her own Twitter feed: “sorry @50cent but that pic is not funny considering how many calls we get from people alerting us to dogs who really have been stabbed.”

What thinketh you, PopWatchers? Has Fiddy’s canine alter ego inaugurated a new era of Twitter-based performance art? Has it eclipsed Kanye’s feed in sheer mania? And how long before we start hearing from Paris Hilton’s Chihuahua Tinkerbell in 140 characters or less?

Hell to the No!

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