September 10, 2010 at 05:46 PM EDT

Image Credit: Gene Page/A&E NetworkDr. Maura Isles might be the most ridiculous character on television. Sometimes, she’s presented as a coldly clinical scientist, all Spock-like emotion and “Queen of the Dead” disinterest in murder. Other times, she’s a well-dressed fashionista who thinks high heels are “very comfortable.” Then you throw in the gonzo orphan origin story – this week, we discovered that her real father is a mob enforcer. (Between Isles and NCIS: LA‘s G. Callen, the “Gonzo Orphan Origin Story” is the new “Ex-Wife He’s Secretly Still In Love With.”) It’s all a little bit much…and as this week’s Most Valuable Cop proves, you can get a lot more with just a little.

Winner of the Week: The Glades

A few commenters on the last Cops Rock asked why The Glades wasn’t represented in the lineup. The easy answer is that I don’t have time to catch every cop show. But the true answer is that, thanks to a confusing marketing campaign, I was under the mistaken impression that The Glades was an extreme cooking reality show starring ex-convict cannibals. (Never put anything past A&E.)

Turns out I was missing out on a treat: The Glades lives on a happy middle ground between the USA’s glam quirk-fests and TNT’s self-serious quirk-fests. It helps that Matt Passmore is apparently capable of generating sexual chemistry with every single actress on the face of the planet. In this week’s episode, he teamed up with a no-bull Reservation cop blessed with the Bond-girl name Josie Tigertail. Sparks flew. Also, I think a crime was solved, or something.

Rookie of the Week:

Hank Dolworth on Terriers. Donal Logue spent the first half of the last decade stuck in the curiously hard-to-kill sitcom Grounded For Life, and couldn’t seem to find a good project for awhile after that. It’s a real pleasure to see him in Terriers, in a role that seems practically ready-made for the Tao of Steve star’s laconic charisma. The show’s got a sun-soaked SoCal look, juicy dialogue, and a great second banana in Michael Raymond-James. But Logue is the reason to stick around.

Your Extra Credit Assignment:

Logue was on The Adam Carolla Show this week for a brilliantly digressive conversation – topics included the Pacific Theater of World War II, the curious habit of giving Spanish names to border towns, Logue’s fascinating life story (son of missionaries, went to college at Harvard), and a surprisingly nuanced peek inside-showbiz debate about call-time etiquette.

Funniest Line in this week’s Terriers:

“I wish I knew you when you were a drunk. I bet you were so much more fun then.”

The lamest line on this week’s Terriers (immediately following its best, of course):

“Yeah. Fun like prison.”

This week’s The Closer in a haiku:

Married sex addict?

Nope, the creepy caretaker.

Online dating bad!

Scene that proves The Closer is secretly super-deep:

At the close of this week’s episode, Brenda had a heart-to-heart with Captain Raydor about Brenda’s opportunity to become Chief of Police, which quickly became a metaphorical conversation about being a woman in the workplace. Think I’m fooling? How about this brilliantly loaded line: “As a woman, I feel I’ve earned the right to options, and one of my options should be to say ‘No.'”

Recurring character who needs to become a regular:

Big Mo, the crime-scene Tow Truck driver on Rizzoli & Isles. Played by Omar J. Dorsey, Mo has appeared in two episodes this season, and both times he’s stolen the show. Can he at least get a webisode series?

Suspects in this week’s Rizzoli & Isles:

Mickey O’Donnell, Danny Boy Flanagan, and Tommy O’Rourke.

The most Irish names ever:

Mickey O’Donnell, Danny Boy Flanagan, and Tommy O’Rourke.

This week’s cameo by a Wire alumnus:

John Doman, a.k.a. McNulty’s eternal nemesis Rawls, appeared on this week’s Rizzoli & Isles as Maura’s surprise father. Doman is one of the glorious champions who holds a Law & Order Grand Slam: guest-starring appearances on the Mothership, SVU, Criminal Intent, and even the short-lived spin-off Trial By Jury. (He’s played eleven different L&O characters. Imagine a whole soccer team of John Domans.)

Ken Tucker’s premiere review of Terriers

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