By Darren Franich
Updated September 08, 2010 at 05:23 PM EDT

Awww, Don Draper, don’t cry. What’s the matter? Do you have an ouchie boo-boo? Is your shirt drawer empty? Are you scared of all the bright, non-brown colors the counter-culture youth are wearing? Are you re-enacting the end of Spider-Man 3? Have you become an internet meme? Was it the onions?

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