· Our humble suggestion for new Dancing With the Stars contestants: Betty White and Sandra Bullock
· It’s getting hot in here, part 1: Mark Salling.
· It’s getting hot in here, part 2: Nelly makes a worthy follow-up to ”Hot in Herre” with his new single, ”Just a Dream.”
· Jane Lynch to host SNL in October! And then every other week after that. (Just a suggestion…)
· Enjoying Taylor Swift’s latest release ”Mine,” even though it’s pretty much the same song as ”Love Story.”
· Making sex tapes funny: Eva Mendes on FunnyOrDie.com
· Making sex tapes sad: Montana Fishburne
· Jay-Z memoir due in November. Is it too much to hope for a rapped audiobook with interludes by Alicia Keys?
· An Entourage movie could be in the works. We’re only going if it’s packaged by Ari Gold.
· Nicole Scherzinger: good Pussycat Doll, better lesbian Catwoman. (Go to YouTube to see her performance of ”Take Me or Leave Me” from Rent at the Hollywood Bowl.)
· California Gurls, they’re unforgettable. (See: Katy Perry in faux-braces.)
· Most unnecessary contribution to the literary world: Justin Bieber’s memoir
· Attention, Mischa Barton: Taylor Momsen is not a fashion role model.
· Simon Cowell leaves Idol, prepares audition tape for Bachelor Pad.
· Clare from 90210 sells a script about one woman’s struggle against lip liner and bad highlights.
· Emma Thompson says Audrey Hepburn ”can’t act.” Audrey’s ghost retaliates by arranging a photo op with a pig.
· People who yell while giving confessionals in the Big Brother Diary Room