Image Credit: Jeff BurtonWho would have thought that Bret Easton Ellis and The Baby-Sitters Club would go together like peanut butter and cocaine-fueled dissolution? Drew Grant of Crushable wrote a pretty impressive parody combining BEE and BSC into something approaching art. She nails the feel of Ellis’ long, stream-of-drug-addled-consciousness sentences, with Pixie Stix and the Beach Boys replacing the blow and snuff films. An excerpt:

“‘Sorry, I just want to make sure we’re um, all clear on who is going to baby-sitting David Michael tonight, because that should be, our top priority right?’ Now everyone was staring at me and I wish I had eaten lunch or at least some of those Jiff/Wonderbread peanut-butter sandwiches Mom made. There was still some organic Farmer’s Market celery stalks that were half-wilting with Hidden Valley in those new melamine plates in the middle of the room, but I was two seconds away from shaking Claudia down for some Snickers or something, or maybe just going to grab the Tylenol P.M. in the medicine closet and my hands were shaking and why was everyone just staring at me?”

Brilliant. It’s nice to see a literary mash-up that doesn’t involve vampires, zombies, or vampire zombies. I hope this trend continues. I can’t wait for the part where little Karen Brewer accidentally falls off the roof because Kristy was too high from Flintstones vitamins and cherry ICEE to notice. I wonder what other unexpected series/author pairings would work. Maybe Chuck Palahniuk’s The Boxcar Children? Michel Houellebecq’s The Hardy Boys? Charles Bukowski’s constantly inebriated Encyclopedia Brown? What do you think?

The Baby-Sitters Club

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