Jerry Springer, Pamela Anderson, and other stars take shots at the ''Baywatch'' alum
Comedy Central Roast of David Hasselhoff
Sunday, Aug. 15, 10 p.m.
Comedy Central’s customary celebrity roast has rarely had such a flammable target. From David Hasselhoff’s time on TV costarring with a talking car (Knight Rider) and running in slow motion to save well-endowed damsels in distress (Baywatch), to his inexplicable success as a pop star in Germany, to the infamous video of the shirtless — and obviously inebriated — actor struggling to consume a hamburger, nothing was off-limits for roast master Seth MacFarlane and a parade of comedians and celeb friends. (And we do mean nothing: Many of the night’s zingers were too risqué for publication. We’ve picked out a few of the tamer highlights.) Through it all, the Hoff, perched on a lifeguard chair for the ceremony, reveled in the attention. ”It was incredibly therapeutic,” the 58-year-old roastee told reporters backstage. ”The only one who wasn’t funny was me. I need some heavier jokes — I’m a lightweight!” When it comes to comedy, at least.
”I am the creator of Family Guy, and I am here to salute the greatest cartoon character of all time, David Hasselhoff…. How do you put someone down when they’re already lying shirtless on the floor?” —Seth MacFarlane
”This [night] is embarrassing. I’m glad your career’s not alive to see this.” —Jerry Springer
”Hoff, I know you think you’re so clever with how you’ve managed to insert the word ‘Hoff’ into everything. Everything except the sentence ‘Hey, I’ve been Hoffered a job!”’ —Jeffrey Ross
”I remember how nervous I was on my first day of Baywatch because I can’t swim. But David was so sweet. He pulled me aside and said, ‘Don’t worry, I can’t act.”’ —Pamela Anderson
”I actually tried to buy one of your songs on Amazon.com, and it said, ‘Users who bought this item also bought a shotgun.”’ —Whitney Cummings