The 35-year-old stand-up toasts and roasts Web videos on Comedy Central's popular 'Tosh.O'

By Dan Snierson
July 30, 2010 at 04:00 AM EDT

1. Pretend that you must experience humiliation via video. Pick your poison:
A. Nailed in groin
B. Wipeout on bike
C. Attacked by animal
[X] D. Bitch-slapped/knocked out
E. Electrocuted by fence He says: Bitch-slapped would be the worst, but I would assume that I really, really had it coming. I’ve said a lot of horrible things throughout my life where there have been zero repercussions. I’m overdue.

2. Moment from your life in need of a Web Redemption:
Tanya. In my Honda Civic. In the early ’90s. I just don’t think I put my best foot forward.

3. Your most embarrassing TiVo season pass?
Kathie Lee and Hoda. I find their drinking more appropriate in the p.m.

4. You grew up as the son of a preacher. What was the most Footloose-y moment from your childhood?
My sister was on homecoming court and wasn’t allowed to go to homecoming because we were not allowed to go to dances. That’s not funny, but it’s completely real.

5. Last time you cried?
When I logged on to my Twitter account and read what my fans had to say about me. They write horrible things because they know I’ll put it on the show. Here’s one: ”I will find you, shove a chain saw up your a–hole, turn it on, and kill you.” Or: ”You’re going to hell. Bye-bye, kid toucher.” I don’t even know what that implies. I mean, I guess I do know…

6. Your dream dinner party?
Bradley Cooper, Jesus, the cast of ‘Thunder From Down Under,’ ”Ravishing” Rick Rude, and Dakota Fanning. But I prefer a table for one because I hate being around people.