By Darren Franich
Updated July 21, 2010 at 04:37 PM EDT

Ah, cruel fate! Lindsay Lohan probably wanted to spend her jail time in quiet contemplation. Maybe she’d carve herself a chess set, or take a class to learn how to read good. But her stint in the clink just got more interesting. According to People, Lindsay Lohan’s cell is right next to the cell occupied by Alexis Neiers, a member of the infamous “Bling Ring” that burglarized several celebrity homes…including, allegedly, the home of Lindsay Lohan. (To make things more surreal, Neiers’ cell was once occupied by Paris Hilton. If these walls could talk…they’d probably vom.)

PopWatchers, we all know that things get weird in prison. We’ve all seen Oz and/or The Shawshank Redemption. The normal trappings of society disappear. Friends become enemies, enemies become friends, everybody gets a tattoo. Apparently, Lohan and Neiers are close enough to talk right now. Presumably, neither of these young women will be able to resist engaging in conversation. But just what are they conversing about?

Darren’s tweeting from the prison cell he shares with Bernie Madoff: @EWDarrenFranichBernie” Madoff