• Upright Citizens Brigade co-founder Matt Walsh is set to direct High Road, a comedy about a fugitive part-time weed dealer and his 16-year-old fellow escapee. (Doogie?) Starring in the flick are Horatio Sanz, Rob Riggle, Abby Elliott, Lizzy Kaplan, Kyle Gass, and Zach Woods — also known as my dream party guest list. [THR]
  • Undercover Jewel Nia Vardalos will write and star in Happy Mother’s Day, which centers on four road-tripping suburban moms. Let’s hope things don’t end like this. [Variety]
  • Elsa Pataky (Snakes on a Plane) and Joaquim de Almeida (24) will join the cast of The Fast and the Furious 5, playing Vin Diesel’s love interest and a drug lord, respectively. [Variety]
  • Sarah Habel and Escher Holloway are set to star in A New York Heartbeat, a crime thriller about a gang leader (Holloway) named Spider who “blunders into the gambling nest of a notorious gangster, makes off with a suitcase full of money, and is beaten and left for dead” before being saved by a woman played by Habel. Sheesh, this isn’t the sequel to New York Minute I was hoping for! [THR]
  • Netflix has nabbed streaming rights to all six seasons of FX’s Nip/Tuck, as well as rights to Pushing Daisies, Veronica Mars, and Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. File under: Reasons I will never leave my home again. [Variety]