By Darren Franich
July 15, 2010 at 04:03 PM EDT

Image Credit: EPA/Tanner Maury/Landov; Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagicAs one of the three people who watched Shaq Vs. last summer, I’m pleased to report that the show will be back and more nonsensical than ever. According to the Associated Press, Shaquille O’Neal is no longer satisfied only losing to fellow athletes. In the new season debuting Aug. 3,  he’ll try (and almost certainly fail) to out-cook Rachael Ray, out-magic Penn and Teller, and out-eat a competitive eater. Best of all, Shaq will be facing down his oldest enemy…on the dance floor. No, not Kobe Bryant. And not that evil mummy from Shaq Fu. I’m talking Justin D. Bieber, the impish little Twitter demon your niece can’t stop talking about.

The Biebs, of course, is an incredibly talented young dancer. It’ll be interesting to see how he matches up against O’Neal, who at last measurement weighed approximately twelve cubic Biebers. I admire Shaq for expanding his horizons beyond the realm of sports, and can actually envision him making a second career out of challenging incredible talented people from all walks of life. Who should Shaq take on next? Take a PopWatch poll after the jump…