By Annie Barrett
July 08, 2010 at 03:33 PM EDT

This week’s best press release — beating out Mandi’s pick, Hawaii Five-Zero‘s adventures in brevity — began with a heartbreaking backstory about Ginuwine’s struggles with addiction and depression, then suddenly tickled our eyes through the screen with this nugget of truth: “Ginuwine has also recently been chosen to become the new spokesperson for Adult Chocolate Milk, a new alcoholic beverage that combines chocolate milk with 40 proof vodka.”

Too bad Ginuwine is married to another (ex-)rapper whose name calls to mind food and drink, Solé, because the clear frontrunner to become ABC’s next Bachelor would obviously have been America’s next top face of dairy, Ginuwine…The Bachelor. You guys, Ginuwine and Solé have daughters named Dream and Story! I know this Emmy stuff is happening all over the place, but my favorite person today is Ginuwine.

For the record, this sentence from a press release about Lindsay Lohan’s birthday party Friday at “Hollywood’s hottest new club, Colony,” came in second place. “Her friends were boozing on belvedere but the only things hitting Lilo’s lips were Sugar Free Red Bulls and cigarettes.” Oh thank God.

(Filed under “Sexytimes” mostly due to the splash effect of the bev image.)

Adult Chocolate Milk: Would you drink it as heavily as I would?

Read more: Press Releases of the Week on PopWatch

Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett

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