By Michael Slezak
July 02, 2010 at 06:04 PM EDT

What is wrong with me? ABC just leaked the first clip from Chris Harrison’s much-hyped Monday night interview with feuding Bachelor exes Vienna Girardi and Jake Pavelka (embedded below), and the following things happened:

1) I watched with rapt attention, processing the footage as if these were real people with actual feelings.

2) Vienna’s defense for barking to the tabloids did not immediately activate my B.S. meter. “I know Jake and I knew as soon as we broke up he was gonna run to a media outlet and tell his side of the story. I wanted to make sure I had a voice also,” she said. “You know, I haven’t had a voice this entire time. And I’ve let everybody say what they wanted to say about me, and their thoughts about me, and I wasn’t gonna let it happen again.” Hey, I can’t argue with her on that count, seeing how Jakey Pooh did wind up on the cover of EW’s corporate cousin People the same week as Vienna’s Star magazine cover. And, of course, if Vienna and Jake’s reality TV relationship didn’t go down in a blaze of public glory, how would they ever really know if they’d broken up at all?

3) The B.S. meter did ping a little when Vienna said “I want people to know that I did try in this relationship. And I stayed with him because I thought it would be different. And I loved him and I wanted it to be different.” My inner cynic wonders if by “I stayed with him because I thought it would be different,” she means “I stayed with him because I thought I’d already have a deal for some kind of TV gig by now.” Maybe that’ll be Chris Harrison’s followup question?

4) Oh, and hey, speaking of B.S., remember back in March when Jake told my colleague Mandi Bierly that when it came to his Dancing With the Stars gig, “the cameras are not what I’m after, it’s the competition,” and how he planned to return to life as a commercial pilot in Texas when his DWTS gig was over? I wonder if he’ll be back in the cockpit by the time his upcoming guest role on Drop Dead Diva airs, or if the siren call of Hollywood got to be too much for him.

5) In other news, Jake’s rapid blinking and straight-line of a stoic mouth made me a little giddy. Like Sue Sylvester in Glee, I wonder if he’s feeling “aroused…then furious!”

6) I made a note to myself to cancel any Monday night plans. This Vienna-Jake situation needs to be watched liiive!

Anyone else excited about watching Chris Harrison’s Jake-Vienna summit in the midst of Monday’s regularly scheduled Bachelorette? And how does the first leaked clip make you feel? Sounds off in the comments below!

More Jake-Vienna:

Vienna (AKA the pot) calls Jake (AKA the kettle) ‘liar,’ ‘fame whore’

‘The Bachelor/Bachelorette’ franchise: What are ‘the right reasons’ to participate?

Take our poll: Which ‘Bachelor’ horror is most offensive?

Chris Harrison blogs ‘The Bachelorette’: Episode 6